By: Jordan Brassfield Dunham
My name is Jordan Dunham. I am 36 yrs old and this is the miracle of grace and my story of redemption.
To understand just how miraculous my God is, you have to understand how broken and lost I was. My first experience with addiction came when I learned my mother was in addiction. I watched her life crumble until at age 36 addiction claimed her life. I was 14 yrs old the morning my brother and I found my mom dead. Never did I imagine years later I would fall into the same trap.
My addiction started when I was 23 yrs old, after a series of horrible choices. During an 8 year affair I began to drink. I was up to a fifth of vodka a day along with 10 unisom (sleep aid) at night. I drank from morning to night and my life was falling apart. It wasn’t until I had lost everything, my job, my home, my relationship, my best friend, and almost my life, that I cried out to God to be my friend. In His amazing grace, the Lord met me where I was and sang me a love song. He whispered to me that even though I hadn’t fully made my mind up about Him…His mind was already made up about me. He loved me. He had never left my side and never would. He promised that He wanted to be my friend and so much more.
It wasn’t easy for me but God gave me the strength to get sober. Where I fell short was stopping at sober. God doesn’t want you to just live a life sober. He wants you to live a life of surrender. I got sober, but suddenly, I was feeling all the shame and guilt I had spent years trying to numb. It was too much for me. I couldn’t handle the process of healing. I couldn’t imagine surviving addiction knowing my mother had died from it. I felt I deserved the same death. I fully expected to die at the age of 36 years. Unable to deal with my pain, I replaced alcohol for over-the-counter Mucus Relief DM. Let me tell you that was a silent killer. For years I took bottles and bottles, all the while still taking unisom. Mucus Relief was to get me up and going while the unisom got me to sleep until it didn’t. This addiction was far worse than alcohol. Hallucinations, more overdoses than I can count, hollowed eyes, glazed and empty, stuttering and stumbling over my words. At times I could barely form coherent sentences….my body was dying from the inside out. I avoided people like the plague but I couldn’t escape the Lord.
I was 35 years old when the Lord showed me in a dream of what He had planned for my mother. What He showed me changed my life. In that moment I saw my mother the way the Lord saw her. I felt the Lord say, “I wanted to deliver her. She didn’t believe she deserved it, but I died so that I could give back her life. The life I had planned for her. Will you believe that I can and will do it for you?” I had to make a choice. The Lord was fighting for me. He was still there, calling me to come out of hiding and into His light. After 5 years of trying to climb out of death’s grave, I asked the Lord for help and He opened the door to Daughters of The Other Side. As I got sober and clear headed, I longed to hear His voice. I had remembered the love song He sang to me so long ago and wanted nothing more than to hear Him speak to me again. He did and He said this would be a season of crushing and pressing, but He was making new wine. He meant I would have to die to myself but He would bring new life out of the grave of my past. The process was so hard but I kept trusting He would do what He said He would. Looking back, I see how He was writing a story that only He could get credit for. The day I graduated DOTS was May 23rd. I was celebrating a life FREE from addiction the day before my mother‘s death from addiction, 21 years ago. What a victory! One month later I turned 36 yrs old and let me tell you this old grave is now a garden of dreams. God dreams. I am now on staff at the very program that gave me a fresh start. God kept His promise. A promise I found in Genesis.
“You intended to harm me, BUT GOD intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20
This article was originally featured in Destiny Magazine, 2020 Fall/Winter Edition.
Jordan’s life is a story of redemption and restoration. After years of brokenness and addiction, God’s grace has led Jordan to her purpose and passion. She currently serves as the Administrative Secretary at Daughters of the Other Side, a dynamic recovery ministry for women, and has joined the staff of Destiny Ministries as Social Media Manager. She is the daughter of the Directors of Destiny Ministries, Phil and Cathy Brassfield. She is married to Scott Dunham and they have two sons, Riley and Cooper.