JARRED MOSS

Recently, at our church, I had the honor of teaching a four-part Sunday morning series on the book of Proverbs. While I have taught a sermon series based on a book of the Bible more than once, I had yet to take the approach I took for this series – a unique approach, seeing as how Proverbs is a unique book. 

Each week, at the outset of the sermon, rather than diving straight into a singular passage or topic, I, instead,  opted to observe and verbally process through 10-12 individual proverbs from the book, a mix of humorous ones, challenging ones, and provocative ones.  We as a church grew in wisdom, one proverb at time, before heading into an exposition of what I identified as one of four prominent passages featured within the book. 

The church laughed together, studied together and considered together as we let each proverb speak for itself. This is quite unlike my typical teaching style, but, again, Proverbs is a different kind of book. Proverbs is primarily a lengthy collection of short pithy statements packed with what I believe to be universal truth that, when adhered to and applied to one’s life, will make that same one’s life better in some form or fashion simply by virtue of its principle. 

For example, whether someone is an agnostic, an atheist, a catholic, a protestant, or any shade in between, the fact that “the rich rule over the poor and the borrower is slave to the lender,” (Prov. 22:7) is absolutely true every single time; and the person that lives with that understanding will undoubtedly take precautions to see that he limits his borrowing to increase his  liberty. 

Reflecting on the wisdom of this book’s compilation, I considered what might be a collection of “youth ministry proverbs.” And after seven years of youth pastoring, now looking down the final stretch of transitioning into the seat of senior pastoring, I believe I’ve identified a handful of short, pregnant, pithy statements that, while provocative and frustrating on one hand, may serve a youth pastor on the other. Now, while I am certainly no Solomon, and don’t in any way claim to have an authoritative inerrant grasp of what is absolutely true in student ministry, I can pass on what I believe to be true for your consideration. So, take them or leave them, but for your prudence and your success, here are a handful of youth ministry proverbs from the perspective of yours truly.

1. The wise youth pastor lets the senior pastor define the win, but the fool demands his own way. 

Interpretation: Regardless of what you learned at Highlands College, what book you read from a recommendation in “Youth Pastors Only” on Facebook, or what session you sat through at the last youth ministry conference, and no matter how convinced you are you’ve found “the way” of student ministry, God still commands His blessing on the brethren in unity, and the oil still flows from the head down. God will bless your stewardship of your senior pastor’s vision more than your own creative idea. 

2. The heart of the wise leans into the sacred, but the heart of the fool leans on the secular. 

Interpretation:  You may think you’re being relatable by playing secular music on the PA before service, but might I suggest you could actually be worldly, inauthentic, and sabotaging your own mission? For when they go home from youth, they will search up that song on Spotify, listen to the whole album and the following recommendations, and then act out said secular artists’ dictates in their life while claiming it’s okay because “Pastor ____ listens to it, too.” Wise youth pastors understand that as the people of God, there should be a separation between the clean and unclean and a delineation between God’s house and your house. Young people will rise to the standard you set, and very often come up short – so raise the standard. 

3. A little holding of the hands, a little caressing of the arms, and pregnancy will pounce on you like a bandit, sexuality like an armed robber. 

Interpretation: Okay – strong language, I know, but let’s get real for a moment. Kids have hormones, Kids experiment. Kids want to touch each other, and (this will help someone), it does NOT matter how “good” the kids are. It does not matter whether their parents are elders or deacons or worship leaders. Romance is romance, lust is lust, and the devil is the devil. When you allow unchecked PDA in the youth gathering, you guarantee that, in time, the yeast of lust will leaven the whole lump, and you can bet that there will be more taking place when nobody’s looking, because there always is. My advice is practice accountability with your youth team, and don’t let anyone wrap their arms around someone or hold hands during the youth service. Set a standard for respecting the presence of God, and if that really cool popular teenage quarterback and cheerleader couple leave because they can’t snuggle during worship, so be it. God will entrust you with 10 more radical zealots in their place. Culture matters.

4. Many are the ministry models of the fantasizing youth pastor, but he who works His field will have plenty in Harvest.

Interpretation: I remember going through the phase of “If we can just get this model right, then this thing will really take off.” Everyone had an idea of what the new ministry scheme should be and how your model should work: Are we groups-driven, or are we service-driven? Do we make leaders, or do we win the lost? Do we have a Wednesday night service or a Sunday night service? On and on and on. Can I tell you what took me 3.5 years to figure out? Shh. . . lean in. . . “They all work.” They, in this case, means ministry models. Yes, every ministry “model” will work as long as it is in line with the vision of the church and, most importantly, if you actually WORK it! Our model was Monday night prayer and leadership as the cornerstone gathering, weekly campus outreach clubs as the evangelistic arm, a monthly youth rally service to bring people to church, and an annual summer youth internship to raise up more campus leaders. And it worked. They all work, as long as you work it. 

5. The older rule over the younger, and he who is not wise to win the elderly will not go unpunished.

Relational equity is real, and when you have it, you know it. As a young ministry leader, it is wise to go above and beyond to be kind and winsome to older people in the church who have gone before you. Even if they seem outdated or not with the times, always remember that gray hair is the crown of the wise and that he who walks with the wise will become wise. By caring for the older people in the congregation, involving youth in helping serve/move/assist them, and simply being a leader for the entire church rather than the youth wing, you will do well, learn a lot, and leave a legacy. 

6. Services cause a stirring, and events a splash, but depth of instruction – that is what will last. 

When we think youth ministry, we often think events. Big weekly services or that one special lock-in where we do a big giveaway to the person who brings the most friends thinking, “This is gonna totally blow it up!” But truthfully, the gospel works like a little yeast hidden in a batch of dough – like the mustard seed that, though it is smallest seed of all, over time it becomes the greatest tree. My advice is if you have a small youth group and limited resources, embrace the small, love who you’ve got, do a Bible study and prayer meeting, and get them serving and inviting their friends to church. Don’t skip the mustard seed season of spiritual growth, and wait long enough to see it come back as the “big” vision that you initially had. 

7. Better to be radical in the eyes of God with little than to be cool in the eyes of man with much. 

Truthfully, the youth pastor that trades being cool to young people for being radical about Jesus is the youth pastor that will have anointing to do great things for God. And that youth pastor will be something better than “cool.” They will be peculiar. Cool is a dime a dozen, and frankly, you and your youth group are not cooler than the latest TikTok trend. But peculiar? That will peak interest, that will provoke curiosity, and that will exalt and sustain a youth ministry. Better to be radical than cool, and better to be devoted than be applauded. 

I hope these youth ministry proverbs challenge you, stir you, and perhaps help you think a little differently about the ministry we’ve been called to. Trends are always changing, but the Word of God and the needs of man are timeless. It’s  in embracing the timeless principle of Godly character, Godly wisdom, and biblical, compassionate, sanctified ministry that will cause us to make a small impact in this beautiful generation, that we might receive a large reward in eternity. Keep your doctrine, keep your purity, and be a keeper of the flock God has entrusted to you. God bless you, friend, and remember, the time is NOW. 

Jarred is the Lead Pastor at The River Church in Searcy, AR where he grew up in the youth group and met then married his wife, Evelyn. Together, they led the youth ministry for 7 years and served as the assistant pastors for three years, while directing Destiny Youth. They have three beautiful daughters: Addison (9),Ella (5), and Vera James (3), and continue to grace a passion for the next generation of young people and youth pastors nationally and internationally.